The Nerf Wars
by I-Am-Erk
Summary: What happens when two teams in two bases with Nerf guns are at war? Humorous chaos! Rated M for language.


This story is based on nerf: nerf dart tag, nerf n-strike, ect... Just imagine the characters with red and blue military combat clothing. The is slightly similar to the Red vs Blue Blood Gulch Chronicle series (mainly character traits).

The story of The Nerf Wars begins in a random prairie in the U.S. The praire is deserted, except for the two bases set up across from each other. The land is fifty percent grass and fifty percent dirt and one-hundred percent heat.

There are two teams, both occupying their bases and defending flags, and apparently the flag is important cause… well… cause it's the team _flag_…

On this specific day, there are two men on Red team, Kent and Sain on a scouting mission behind a hill watching the opposing team.

"Hey dude."

"Yeah, Sain?"

"You ever wonder why the foam darts our guns shoot can pierce skin and injure people?"

"You ever wonder why fruit knives can be shoved up people's asses? Same reason why our foam darts can pierce skin and kill people."

"But Kent," Sain inquired, "How could a foam dart actually KILL someone? I mean, it's just a piece of foam with a suction cup."

"Excuse me, but we're on a MISSION and if we get shot by FOAM darts and DIE because of you asking stupid questions about how the world works, then I am going to shoot you with a FOAM dart once we become ghosts."

Sain paused for a moment of thinking and then replied, "But how can you kill a ghost if you're already dead? Do you like… become a ghost… of a ghost?"

"You know what. I should've become a lawyer like my dad said."

Meanwhile on blue team, which consisted of Raven, a hot-tempered guy, and Wil, an idiot and at the same time slightly smart person were in their base doing other things.

"Wil, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Playing with my dick?"

"Yeah, good one, dumbass. Seriously, what are you doing?"

"Watching TV?"

"Exactly. That's what your doing and if we get shot by FOAM darts and DIE because of you watching porno on TV instead of seeing what red team is up to, then I am going to shoot you with a FOAM dart once we become ghosts."

Wil paused for a moment of thinking and then replied, "But how can you kill a ghost if you're already dead? Do you like… become a ghost… of a ghost?"

"If you don't get off your ass right now, I cant be held responsible for the things me and my gun are going to do to you."

There was a long awkward silence. Wil thought for a moment and then faced Raven and directed his question.

"…You ever wonder why the foam darts our guns shoot can pierce skin and injure people?"

"I can't believe I signed up for this war… at least we're getting a Titan rocket launcher tomorrow…"

Back to Red team…

"If I was a lawyer, I wouldn't have to put up with you and avoiding death from foam darts," said Kent.

"Uh huh, and I could be back at the base watching porno on TV instead of listening to you."

"Hey, you started it with your stupid question about how foam darts kill people."

Sain sighed, "First of all, there are no stupid questions. Second, how CAN foam darts with suction-cup darts kill people-"

"SAIN! KENT! Get yourselves and your sorry asses over here!" yelled their current leader.

"Oh great. What's Sargeant Marcus want now…" sighed Sain.

The two ran back to their base and up to Marcus.

"Okay men, do you know what we're getting tomorrow?"

"The bonus you promised in our paychecks?" Sain brought up.

"I just said that to get you up your lazy ass private. Your lazier than a mutt! I would replace you with a dog in a second! They obey your every order and even if you discipline them with violence they still love you! But what do I get? A stupid good for nothing retarded retard! Now shut your mouth and pay attention!"

"Sigh. Yes Sargeant Jackass." Muttered Sain.

"I heard that! Kent, I want you to use Sain for target practice next week!"

"Say what!" exclaimed Sain.

"Sir yes sir!" saluted Kent.

"If only Sain was like you Kent. Anyways, tomorrow we are getting a machine gun . This machine gun is a better version of the Rapid Fire model. The Rapid Fire had a capacity of twenty rounds per clip. This version has significant changes. It's ammo capacity is now four-hundred darts instead of twenty. Also, instead of inserting the darts, there are magazine clips for faster reloads."

After his explanation he pulled out a picture of the gun.

"Gentlemen! I present to you the Nerf Rapid Fire 4000!"

"Dibs," Kent called.

"Dibs!" Sain called shortly after, "What? DAMNIT!"

"We are also getting reinforcements due to our small numbers."

"Great," Kent sighed, "We get a rookie."

"First, I don't get the new weapon, and now, we have a rookie. This can't get any worse."

"PRIVATE SAIN!" Marcus bellowed, "You have armor cleaning duty this week!"

"What? But, I cleaned our vests last week!"

"I know, I just like to watch you suffer! Now get to work or you get another week!"

"I so hate this army…"

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Remember to review!


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